“The Eyes of Texas” may go blind. There is a move by some UT athletes to drop the Eyes for some other unspecified song, certainly not another tune the Longhorn Band plays, “The Yellow Rose of Texas,” which has a far more interesting background story. This name change is part of a list the jocks want to make the 40 Acres less racial, more inclusive. Among other demands, they want to topple a few statues (several Confederate statues have already been removed from its campus grounds), rename some buildings and want part (part?) of Darrel K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium to be renamed after Julius Whittier, the Longhorns' first black player. The athletes added that if the required changes aren't implemented, they "will not be participating in the recruitment of incoming players or other alumni … [Read more...] about Limitation of statues
THE DEN – Ah, a quiet, dark and wet evening with soft music from the Prussian Army Marching Band, and… Odd, someone is knocking at my front door. I open the door and there stands a man in a trench coat, collar turned up, hat pulled low, dark glasses. “Greetings, Agent 00X” he says. “The pelican is known to hiccup on Fridays.” Huh? “Marmaduke wears purple suspenders,” he says. I start to close the door. “Wait. Isn’t this 122 Spider Bite Drive?” I shake my head. “That’s across the street. The Machiavelli house.” He is surprised. “Oh, then I’ll have to kill you.” I start to close the door and dial 911. “Your disguise can’t fool me. You really are Osgood Machiavelli,” he says. “I am known as Grassy Knoll, and I came to warn you about the Great Conspiracy. You know, of course, that Deep … [Read more...] about To inspire, you must conspire
“It's not for looks. We're willing to die." -- J.P. Campbell, armed with a shotgun, as he and other similarly-armed men staged a protest against COVID-19 restrictions outside a tattoo parlor in Shepherd, north of Houston. Texans have been willing to die for all sorts of things over the years, but willing to die to uphold your God-given right to go unmasked into a tattoo parlor in a small East Texas town hits me as overkill. OK, bad choice of words. Moving on, two of the top Facebook posts accusing Democratic backer George Soros of financing rioters were from Texas’ Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, an outspoken supporter of President Trump. “I have no doubt in my mind that George Soros is funding these so-called ‘spontaneous’ protests,” Miller wrote in one of the posts. “Soros is … [Read more...] about Ashby: Away all quotes!
THE MAIL – Once again I am going through the mail looking for…uh-oh. Here it is: The most dreaded envelope of all: the monthly credit card bill from House O’ Cards. It is by far the largest bill I get except for those from Vito the Enforcer & Co. Let’s see what I rang up last month. Tito Vodka, Bud Breweries and the Cheap Cigar Shop. Four of the items listed, two for $5.41 and two for $27.01, are small amounts, but I don’t recall those purchases. You no doubt have curiosities on your credit card. Some odd item from Vermont or a meaningless name like “Op Tox, Inc.” You finally call the phone number listed, and a voice answers, “Whips R Us” and then you recall that on-line purchase from that kinky club you joined. But this time there is no phone number or anything else to jog your … [Read more...] about The wild card
To: Gov. Greg Abbott From: Agent Slime Ball Re: Operation Dodging the Ballot As per your orders I have launched a program to deter voter fraud in Texas, which you have rightly labeled is “rampant,” even though between 2005 and 2018 there were only 73 prosecutions in Texas out of 64 million votes cast." (How many of these traitors were actually found guilty is a secret.) The current problem is to allow voting by mail in light of the coronavirus – some wimps don’t want to line up with sneezing and coughing fellow voters to cast their ballot. Texas’ election code allows for mail voting for people over the age of 65, disabled, out of the county on Election Day and during early voting by personal appearance or be in jail. Their clearly weak argument is that Texas voters … [Read more...] about Hitting the mail on the head